Well, I think last week was a Juke Box Jury first – two of the five tracks debuted in the Top 100! Florence & The Machine came in at No 81, and Zayn entered at No 20. And as if that wasn’t enough, the Calvin Harris/Dua Lipa track from the week before hit the top of the pops. OMG right?! That makes two of my tips to hit the top. Holy Crap!
On with the show, though. And the first of this week’s tracks is from Ariana Grande, and it’s called ‘No Tears Left To Cry’. The only artist I know named after a size of coffee, she was thrown into the wider consciousness in the worst possible way after the Manchester Arena bombing. I imagine this will be played in the bedrooms of 12 to 18 year olds non-stop, and maybe even in bedrooms of people old enough to drink. It’s not the worst song I’ve subjected myself to for Juke Box Jury, which is saying a lot. In fact, I’d go as far as to say it’s not shit. And, therefore, I hereby declare this a HIT.
The second track of the week is ‘Just Dumb Enough To Try’ by Father John Misty. One of two tracks released from his forthcoming album ‘God’s Favourite Customer’ (which I have already pre-ordered, naturellement), I couldn’t resist featuring my favourite artist, could I? Musically, there are similarities with the material from his previous album, ‘Pure Comedy’, but lyrically he has returned to the familiar ground of emotions with a left-field approach. You will probably call me biased, but it’s fucking excellent. Chart-wise, it probably won’t do much, but who sodding cares, for me it’s a monster HIT.
Onto the third track of the week, ‘Quiet, The Winter Harbour’ is from Mazzy Star, who have, according to Google been going since 1989. I have heard the name somewhere before, I can’t think where though, which is annoying me somewhat. However, there is something about this track… It’s very melancholic, and slightly haunting. It’s actually quite good. Not in a break-the-charts way, but that probably isn’t the aim. So, it will be a MISS, but one I’ll enjoy listening to.
The fourth of this week’s tracks is ‘Submarine’ by Island Club. I don’t know what to say about this. I don’t know why the hell it’s called ‘Submarine’. It’s quite catchy, in it’s own way. It won’t trouble the charts, I don’t think, so that makes it a MISS.
And that brings me to the final track of the week. ‘It’s Not Just Me’ is by Let’s Eat Grandma. Perhaps I shouldn’t pick tracks to review based on the artist name in the future. Let’s Eat Grandma is the name chosen by two girls with no discernible connection to the wolf from Little Red Riding Hood. It’s a bit ‘clubby’ which puts it at a disadvantage from the off. If there’s enough of a following, it could have the legs to trouble the chart, but I’m going to hedge my bets and say MAYBE.
And so, that brings me to the classic chart hit of the week. On this day in 1981, Welsh Elvis tribute act, Shakin Steven’s was at Number Three, and on the way down the charts having peaked at Number One. Good ol’ Shaky!! Some wag on Youtube set the song to clips from the Tom Hanks movie ‘The Money Pit’!