The old saying goes – “You learn something new every day.” Well, today, I learnt that there is such a thing as ‘National Tell A Story Day’, which is great. Therefore, I figured ‘what better occasion to give you another Dave story?’ So, without any further ado, here is Dave…
Dreams are funny things. Nightmares are really not funny. This is a story about a nightmare Dave suffered one evening. Now life was good with Donna and Annabel in their own little house, but your subconscious has a wicked way of messing with you when you can do nothing about it.
Dave had enjoyed a fairly normal evening – he’d come home from work, had his tea, played with Annabel and put her to bed. He’d had no cross words with Donna, not even when he ate the last Rolo in the packet. So, they went to bed (as couples so often do) and lay in bed reading – him a James Ellroy novel, and her Fifty Shades of Grey. Eventually, they both turned off their bed-side lamps and settled down to sleep. It was then the fun started!
One minute Dave was thinking about football and beer, the next he was stood in his bathroom having a shave in daylight. He looked at himself in the mirror and barely recognised himself. He heard stomping of feet on the stairs above him and muffled voices. He opened the bathroom door and was confronted by a tearful Donna carrying a suitcase in one hand, and the hand of a confused-looking Annabel in her other hand. Dave tried to say something, but couldn’t find the words. Donna opened the front door and out they went, the door swinging open behind them. Dave was confused himself, because he couldn’t think why they were going. But gone they were. In a flash he was sitting in a pub with Kelly, his horrible ex-girlfriend, and they were drinking and having a great time. It was as if they were a couple again. They finished their drinks and left the pub together, and as Dave expected Kelly to go to wherever her home was, she carried on walking with him. Before long they were back at his house and to his horror, they were soon getting undressed and into bed – the same bed he shared with Donna. It was almost like the old times when he’d first started dating Kelly, before she turned into a selfish bitch, and they’d come home from the pub and have slightly merry sex. Dave lay in bed and before long, it looked like it was going that way.
With a jolt, Dave woke up and reached out in the darkness. To his relief and comfort, his hand touched the familiar figure of Donna,sleeping next to him on her side. He wriggled over and lifted his arm over and rested his hand on her boob, giving it a gentle squeeze for good measure, and then hugged her like his life depended on it, until she shifted in her sleep and brushed his hand away.
Dave nodded off again, content, but wary – he needed to give his subconscious a kick up the arse.
And that, my dear readers, was based on a true story.