This weekend has seen the return of the much feted Glastonbury Festival after a year off (thanks to Olympic and Jubilee overload in 2012 and the customary lull to allow Mr Eavis’ farmland to recover from consecutive years of festival revellers leaving their shit all over the place).
Now, don’t get me wrong – I like music. Quite a lot. But I just don’t get excited by Glastonbury. At all. Some will say you have to experience it first hand to understand it. Others say it’s more than just a music festival – it’s a way of life. All I will say is that I would never waste my own money on a ticket. And this year, there have been few appearances that have got me in any way enthused. I caught some of Elvis Costello on the telly on Saturday evening, which was nice. I didn’t bother staying up for the Rolling Stones.
Maybe I’m just getting to be a miserable old bastard way before my time (although those that know me will say the signs were there long ago), but music these days is in a poor state, if a bunch of still-incredibly-talented 70 year old fellas can waltz in to headline a festival like Glastonbury. Or maybe it was because it was Glastonbury, that the Stones allowed themselves to be swept in on a wave of gravitas and aura that surrounds this festival.
I’ve been to a festival before. The V Festival in 1999, actually. In my opinion, never has any festival managed to assemble a line-up so filled with bands and artists that vomited quality so readily. That year, I went with two of my mates, Doug and Dale, and we slept in a tent and by the end of the weekend, we stank of beer and stale sweat, but boy had we seen some bloody good stuff: (in no particular order) Manic Street Preachers, Cast, Suede, Travis, Supergrass, Kula Shaker, Beautiful South, Massive Attack, James Brown, and Gomez. In fact I think we even managed to cram in some Faithless and Orbital at some point too!
In this year’s Glastonbury line-up, I count eleven acts that would have had me in front of the stage. And that doesn’t justify the entrance fee for me.
Now, if you asked me who would justify the cost of a ticket to Glastonbury, then you would be needing to have the likes of Cast, The Hummingbirds, Nick Harper (who was there this year), Jake Bugg (also on the bill this time), Noel Gallagher, Paul Weller, the Fleet Foxes, Blur, Pulp (again), Elbow, Bruce Springsteen would be good, Bob Dylan (as if!), Paul Heaton, David Bowie, and also, why not the Stone Roses?!
Obviously you get the other shite like Dizzy Rascal and what have you, for the other festival goers, but I could be doing something else while they’re on stage, like poking my eyes out with sticks or doing yoga or something.
So, there you are Michael Eavis and team – a challenge for you! Get all of those on your line-up, and I might consider visiting your precious festival.
Rock And Roll, over and out!!