If You Can’t Stand The Heat…

Today sees the start of another of the Masterchef series. This time it’s the amateurs turn into the hotspot.

Regular shouty, eaty judge Gregg Wallace is joined by John Torode as they run the rule over a load of people who think they can cook, or have been told they make a nice Steak.

In my opinion, Masterchef is a brilliant show that mixes food, stress and comedy. Yes Comedy. You just watch an episode and look at the facial expressions as Gregg and John wander around the kitchen taking in the contestants and their methods, ingredients and so on.

Recently, I enjoyed the Professionals version and got quite carried away with my support of one chef in particular. She didn’t win, but she really produced some intriguing food (and was a bit of a cutie too). Alongside all the food, there was the fun and games from all those skill tests in front of Gregg and Monica, followed by that moment when, having prepared the chefs for the next challenge, Gregg turns to the kitchen door, and Michel Roux Jr enters to dramatic music. And of course, the food tasting. How many times did we see Gregg almost melt into a plate of food after one mouthful?! Or say “I could eat the whole plate!”? TV Gold in my book. I’m even considering patenting a new Masterchef: The Professionals Drinking Game where you have to take a drink everytime the phrase “2 Michelin Stars” is repeated. Trust me it has legs! (Unlike anyone who will play the game – they’ll be legless… gettit?)

And yet, possibly the most ironic thing is, I’m not really a foody person. I like food, don’t get me wrong, but I don.’t get excited or orgasmic over it (some people would wonder if there is anything that gets me excited). In fact, I don’t even cook. The only time I go into the kitchen is to get a drink, but when you’ve got a girlfriend who can cook like mine, why would I even try?! I used to have a go in the kitchen, well, I had to thanks to my ex-wife who spent most evenings working at a pub or shopping or whatever, and I was left to feed our son and occasionally her 2 kids from a previous marriage. But I never enjoyed it.

The last time I was in the kitchen, I almost dropped a tray of fish fingers. Actually that was the first time my girlfriend heard me shout and curse. In my defence, it was a narrow kitchen and I didn’t have an oven glove!!

So, watch Masterchef and see food being cooked and eaten. If nothing else, you’ll feel bloody hungry!!


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