Happy Monday, folks. I was as surprised as anything to find out that Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa entered the charts at Number 3 with their dirge ‘One Kiss’. So, fresh from my success, I’m back again with another five tracks.
The first of which is ‘Sky Full Of Song’ by Florence & The Machine. It wasn’t long ago that Florence could do no wrong. I’ve never quite understood the appeal myself, I can’t see what’s so special. On the basis of this track, I’m still struggling to work it out. I do think it will probably do quite well in the charts though, so I’m going with a HIT.
On to the second track of the week, which is ‘Crazy’ by 50 Cent featuring PNB Rock. The bits with 50 Cent are alright, but whoever this PNB Rock fella is, he’s just ruined this. In a major way. I don’t know if there’s enough of a following out there for Mr Cent, so I’m saying this is a MAYBE.
The third track of the week is ‘Tender’ by Jones. Now, artists who choose to use just one name usually go with something memorable, or unique – Madonna, Cher, Beyonce. The overwhelming majority going with their first name. Very few artists choose to go by just their surname. And if you were going to, doing it with a name like Jones is just plain silly. In fact I’m not even sure I’ve found the right person – Cherie Jones-Mattis. This song is very average. Nothing particularly stands out about it. Let’s just say this is going to be a MISS.
The fourth of this week’s tracks is ‘When You’re Wrong’ by Twin Shadow. Well, what can I say about this? No, really. I’ve got to say something. I suppose someone out there will like it. So, anyway. Oh, fuck it. This is awful. Really bad. Someone should really have exercised some quality control with this. I want it to be a MISS so much.
And finally, the last track of this rather lame week of new releases. ‘Let Me’ is from Zayn, who according to Google, is the member of One Direction who decided he was better than the others. There’s always one who thinks they are better – Robbie Williams of Take That, the one out of Westlife that knocked up Kerry Katona, Ronan Keating from Boyzone, Justin Trousersnake from his group… Anyway, this is boring as hell to listen to. But because of who he is, it will no doubt be a bit of a HIT.
Ah, the reward for all the suffering. The Classic Chart Hit. Back in 1994, the teenage me, in the throes of puberty, had a bit of a crush on Mariah Carey. Yeah, I know. Unlikely. Anyway, when you put that together with a very good Harry Nilsson song – ‘Without You’, well, you can imagine how happy I would have been. So here it is, for my teenage self…
See you next week, hopefully…